Salvatoris
by StatlerWaldorf
Summary: When the Exile returns, defeated, from her time away from the known galaxy, she carries with her a lethal disease, and her only hope lies in the group of restless Jedi she left behind as they journey back into the unknown. LSF Exile.
1. No, You're Never Gonna Crack

**Chapter 1: No, You're Never Gonna Crack**

"Bao-Dur!" cried Mira. The Zabrak turned to see Mira running towards him, her robes flying and tears streaming down her face. "Bao-Dur, you have to hurry! Atton and Mical are fighting and they're serious this time!"

Bao-Dur grabbed Mira's wrists as she flew towards him. "Mira," he consoled in his soft voice, "calm down. I'm sure they're just a little restless. You know how Atton gets sometimes."

Mira shook her head. "You have to come, Bao-Dur! If anyone can break it up, you can. Visas is there, but... please, Bao-Dur..." Her green eyes pleaded with him to follow, and he did as Mira led him away from the library.

Mira led Bao-Dur to a circular room, the room where the five of them held most of their meetings and discussions. These seemed to be happening more and more frequently over the past months, and that was not always a good thing, as demonstrated now. In the center of the room was a circle of five unremarkable but functional stools, and in front of these stood Atton and Mical, weapons drawn. Atton jumped up and brought his golden lightsaber straight down in a failing attempt to injure Mical, who blocked it with his own azure blade. Visas Marr stood behind them, yelling at them to stop. She tried to push Atton back with Force powers, but Atton resisted every attempt. The Miraluka looked exhausted from trying.

"Atton," Bao-Dur called out, his voice powerful. "Mical. Stop."

Atton snarled at Mical, his face contorted with anger. Mical looked calm, but his features suggested that beneath his silent exterior, he was bubbling with animosity. It was obvious to everyone why: the rivalry between these two, from before the General left, was still strong, and in recent months had become dangerous. Any comment from Mical seemed to have a double meaning to Atton, and the looks that Atton Rand could shoot would have caused a wiser man to back down.

Mical used to be a wiser man, reflected Bao-Dur. He had left Atton alone, avoiding clashes by meditating on his own or organizing the chronicles of the Jedi that he had recovered. Atton could try to provoke Mical for hours on end, and all it would culminate in was Mical muttering that he had work to do.

And, of course, back before the General left, there had been even fewer incidents. She had always been able to separate them both, to keep them from injuring each other, either verbally or physically. They would listen to her, naturally, Atton with a docility rarely seen in him and Mical with his usual calm.

For Bao-Dur, controlling the two was not so easy. Mical and Atton put away their lightsabers and backed away from each other cautiously. "Good," breathed Bao-Dur. "Now, please, sit down. I don't want to see any more of this. It's getting old."

Mical did as Bao-Dur asked, but Atton stayed standing, still glaring poisonously at Mical. Mira was still tense, almost shaking, next to Bao-Dur, and the whole room had a thick, tempestuous atmosphere. The Zabrak walked heavily, stepping in front of Atton. "Sit down, Atton," he said in almost a whisper. "She wouldn't want you to do this."

Atton seemed to suddenly notice that Bao-Dur was there, and he hunched over slightly, taken aback by the Zabrak's words. Atton's eyes filled with something close to fear: whether it was fear of Bao-Dur's vehement tone or fear of the truth in his words, the Zabrak was unsure. Atton backed away to sit opposite Mical.

Bao-Dur looked at Visas and Mira, who came forward as well, sitting next to each other in the circle and across from where Bao-Dur sat down.

"Now," began Bao-Dur, "I think these incidents are becoming far too frequent. I don't want to blame either of you, but I do think that you've both had more than enough time to stop them on their own. So we're all going to sit here and discuss these, unless anyone has any serious problems with that."

Mical looked at the ground, and Atton shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Mira rested her hands on the table, and Visas made no movement.

"Good. Atton, I want to hear your angle on this first, and then we'll hear you out, Mical."

Atton wasted no time in telling his side of the story. "He told me that if... she... didn't come back, then it was my fault! He said that I should have been more 'sensitive' to her, that she needed to distance herself from me because I was holding her back."

Bao-Dur looked to Mical. "And what's your side, then, Mical?"

"Atton was telling me that she only trained me because I was such a... well, to put it in more pleasant terms, I wasn't as masculine as he seems to believe he is, and she felt sorry for me. So I told him that perhaps if he had been more receptive to her needs, then she might not have gone off to wherever she is now without anyone else."

"Mira? What do you think?" asked Bao-Dur.

"I don't think either of you have told us how, exactly, this started," the redhead observed, looking from one rival to the other.

"True. Visas?"

"I agree with Mira. Why did the subject come up in the first place?"

Mical and Atton glared at each other for a few seconds, each daring the other to talk, until Bao-Dur sliced the silence sharply. "Mical. What were you doing?"

"I was upgrading my lightsaber," Mical said unflinchingly, "and Atton kept brushing me aside and telling me that I wasn't doing it right. So _he_ would put each piece in, even though I was doing just-"

"That's not true," cut in Atton. "You-"

"That's enough," said Visas. "Mical, please continue."

Mical shuffled anxiously. "Well... that's all."

"Atton?"

"He _was_ doing it wrong. He would have asked me for help anyway if he had even noticed I was there. But he was totally caught up in that lightsaber. I just tried to help him put it in. I _may_ have joked about him being slightly... effeminate, but I didn't _mean_ it."

Mira looked at both men, then at Bao-Dur. Visas leaned back in her seat. Bao-Dur looked up at the ceiling and breathed in deeply before beginning to speak.

"I know that this has been hard on all of us, especially you two. I know it's been a year since... maybe even more than a year."

"A year, three months, sixteen days," corrected Atton mechanically, staring at a spot on the floor ahead of him.

"Exactly," continued Bao-Dur firmly. "But she wouldn't want us to fall apart. She told us what she needed us to do before she left, and I intend to honor the General's commands. I'm sure that each of you do, as well."

No one said a word. Mical seemed to be concentrating on the same spot as Atton, and Mira met Bao-Dur's intense gaze humbly. Visas nodded emphatically but silently.

"And we're going to keep following the General's command until she gets back. We're going to keep this Academy strong. We're going to keep training our students in the ways of the Jedi as well as we can until she gets back. Unless anyone has any other thoughts about it."

Bao-Dur looked around the circle.

"Atton?"

Atton looked up and matched Bao-Dur's stare with an equally fierce gaze. "I'm not going to be the first to let her down."

"Mical?"

Mical looked straight across at Atton. They made eye contact, each challenging the other. "Nor will I," he said, almost defiantly.

Bao-Dur nodded, a vague smile on his face. "Good. Then I don't expect to hear about any more of these incidents."

They adjourned. Mical and Atton left, briskly, in opposite directions, and Visas left more calmly down another hallway, presumably to teach her class.

"You know," said Mira, "I've worked with some pretty powerful guys, but I've never seen anyone quite as strong as you."

She looked up at Bao-Dur curiously. "She was right to put you in charge here," Mira stated. "I have to admit that I wasn't sure at first, Bao-Dur, but she was right."

Bao-Dur looked Mira in the eye. His gaze, which had been piercing only moments ago, was tranquil now. "Thank you, Mira," he said quietly.

"Don't mention it," she said. "Guess we'd better get going. The day's barely started."

* * *

Atton Rand drank down another watered-down juma juice. _This planet is nothing_, he thought, _can't even get a half-decent drink around here. Perfect place for reestablishing the Jedi Order or whatever, I guess._ He laughed to himself. "Whatever it is we're doing," he muttered.

The cantina was, as always, quiet. Atton always felt as though he was being watched, and he was constantly looking over his shoulder, just in case. His hand shook as he raised the pathetic drink to his lips. As he placed the drink back in front of him, Atton ran his fingers through his dark hair.

_Why do I do it? Why do I sit there and teach a bunch of little hopeful imbeciles when I don't even know if she's coming back?_ He inhaled sharply. _What if I snap one day? I mean, sure, those naïve little Jedi wannabes are annoying, but I don't want to hurt them. What if that little part of my brain that would love to torture them, kill them, jumps back into the pilot's seat?_

"She'd kill me if that happened," he said under his breath.

_But what if it does? I can't put them at risk. I'd be putting everyone at risk._

"I've gotta get out of here before I kill them all."

_That would be failing her. That would be disobeying her._

"Better to fail her than to kill everyone close to her."

_Is it really? This isn't Nar Shaddaa. There are rules here. Too many rules, all crossing and conflicting. I can't deal with this._

Atton quickly chugged down the rest of his drink. He never even knew it was possible to have internal conversations like this until she came along. _Alainna,_ he thought, _why did you leave me?_

Laying his coins on the bar, Atton turned and walked away, his robes flapping behind him. Maybe he needed to clear his head, if he was going to start having moments like this.

Dantooine was almost worse, Atton had decided, than any other planet he had been to. And Atton had gone across the galaxy looking at some of the bleakest planets that could possibly exist. What was there on Dantooine? Grass. And kinrath. And the occasional kath hound. Mostly, though, there was grass, and that did not help Atton's mood. Khoonda was a small settlement, though it was larger than it had been the first time he came here with the _Ebon Hawk_. All it had to offer was a cantina, really, and since this was such a Jedi town, the cantina itself had very little to offer.

Atton looked at the setting sun and sighed. He could almost hear her beside him. _Atton, _she would have said, _calm down. At least you can't fall for hours with one misstep here._

In a way, she would be wrong. _You _can_ fall here,_ Atton thought, _and I think maybe I am_.

Atton felt shivers go down his spine, and he turned for the Jedi Enclave. As boring as it was, at least there he was safe, hopefully even from himself. He looked once more at the desolate colors of the sunset. _You'd better come back to me, Alainna,_ he thought. _Either way, I'll find you._

_

* * *

_

Visas was interrupted from her meditation by a presence walking behind her. Turning, the Miraluka sensed that it was Atton. Visas arose and turned to the hesitant figure.

"Yes?" she said aggressively. "What is it?"

Atton stepped forward, clearing his throat. "I feel like you have something to say. What is it and why didn't you get it out with the rest of the interrogation?"

Visas stepped closer to Atton. As she did, he backed away. "Don't be afraid, Atton," she said, "I'm not going to bite."

Atton seemed unconvinced. "Then you did want to say something?"

"I wanted to say that it's disgusting how much you bully Mical. You're not giving him a chance to progress and learn when you keep pushing him down."

"What? I- hey, he's supposed to be the all-knowing historian guy!"

"That's what he already is, Atton, not what he can be! You have to try and see him like she did, Atton. Do you think she would have brought him along if she didn't think he could be more than he was?"

"What _is_ it with you people, talking like you know her better than I do?"

"Atton, I may be the blind one, but you see even less than I do."

Atton backed up a step. "What are you talking about? More cryptic Jedi riddles?"

"You're as much a Jedi as I am. And I'm talking about how your love for her blinded you from seeing what she saw. You didn't care why she did what she did. You followed her- blindly, as did Mical."

"Don't even compare the way I-"

"I wasn't. I'm just saying that you never needed to know exactly why she did what she did. I'm not criticizing that. But _we_ all needed to, Atton. So we had to see things from her point of view before we could completely follow her."

Atton dropped his head to the side. The room was filled with silence.

"Do you understand me?"

Atton looked up slowly. "Yeah," he mumbled, "I think I might."

"Good." Her tone softened. "I don't want you to feel like you've done anything, Atton. I just need you to understand. For all of us."

Atton turned around and left.

* * *

_Revan lay on the surface of the planet, blood soaking the ground around her. _I've seen worse,_ she thought. _Hope the inside of the ship turned out better, though. Funny... I can't feel my legs._ Revan desperately tried to either move or speak, but neither seemed to work._

_"Hey," called a voice, "what happened here?"_

_The voice grew nearer, and another voice behind Revan spoke. "Whoa! Are you alive, ma'am?"_

_Revan groaned. She lifted the tip of her finger, pointing towards the shuttle. Footsteps ran in that direction. "Call for backup and a med team! We need to get help for her," commanded the first voice. Revan assumed that they were planetary officers of some kind, hopefully from the Republic. She inhaled through her nose, trying to smell anything distinctive about this world. She smelled the dirt, but nothing to set this planet apart from any other Rim world… still, something seemed incredibly familiar about the air here. Revan felt instinctively that this was where she wanted to be. Maybe it was always where she wanted to be. She felt something unlock in her mind, and she knew somehow that this was the best place for her to be._

_"Can you move?" said the other voice, next to her head. "Or speak?"_

_Revan stayed still. "Carth," she coughed, "Carth Onasi..." She still could not remember just how she had gotten here._

_The officer's jaw dropped. "What?"_

_"Tell... him..."_

_"Hold on. Don't speak. Hey, Lieutenant!"_

_The first voice called back to the soldier near Revan. "What?"_

_"She's calling for Admiral Onasi!"_

_Revan smiled faintly. He _had_ made the promotion._

_"Well, don't tell me! Get moving!"_

_The ground swirled in front of Revan as the soldier beside her called for backup. The colors melted into a single darkness, and that darkness consumed the rest of the world._


	2. Such Sweet Sorrow

**Chapter 2: Such Sweet Sorrow**

Visas and Mira approached Bao-Dur quietly. The Zabrak did not get much time to meditate on his own, and Visas and Mira did not want to be the ones to disturb him. Patiently, they sat and waited for him. When he finally arose, he looked more refreshed than usual, and he greeted them both casually.

"Nice of you to wait for me," he said.

"Of course," said Visas. "We did not wish to disturb you."

"Don't worry about it. I was getting up anyway. I've actually been here for a while. Now, what was it you wanted?"

Visas swallowed. "Atton is gone."

Bao-Dur nodded. "I was aware of this. But he's not far."

Puzzled, the Miraluka asked, "If you knew of this... why did you not tell us? Atton has a class to teach, and we had to set them on…" Visas shuddered, disgusted at the lengths to which they had resorted, "independent study time."

"Yeah," broke in Mira, "_that_ confused them pretty well."

"Yes," Visas continued, "and Atton has three more classes today, too."

Bao-Dur looked up as he pondered this for a second.

"It's really quite simple, Visas," Bao-Dur explained. "Atton is not following his head. He's following the place in his heart that feels the Force, but not with the discipline of a Jedi."

Mira stood. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

Bao-Dur looked over at Mira. "I know only what Mical told me this morning. And he knows only what Atton told him."

"And what are you going to tell _us_?" asked Mira curiously.

"I'm going to tell you both to calm down. Don't worry about Atton, and don't try and gouge the information of Mical."

"Well, there goes all my fun," Mira quipped.

"Just let it be. Know that Atton has every intention of coming back, and be content with that."

Mira was hardly content, but she stayed quiet. Visas seemed to easily be able to toss the incident from her mind and move on. Mira looked at both of them, and her brow furrowed. Shrugging, Mira followed Visas out of the room.

As soon as they were out of earshot from Bao-Dur, Mira began to speak to Visas. "Are you just going to accept that?" she asked incredulously.

"I am going to do as _Master_ Bao-Dur instructed," Visas said coolly.

"Just like that? You don't wonder if maybe Atton's gone off to join the Sith or kill himself or something?"

"I will _trust_ Bao-Dur. You should as well."

"I do! But Bao-Dur doesn't know everything."

"Your choice."

"Yeah. Well, I'm going to talk to Mical."

"Mira, were you even listening to-"

"Not to gouge anything. But I can read people. You can't survive on Nar Shaddaa for as long as I did without learning to read people."

* * *

Atton sliced the kinrath neatly in two. Was there no way to get his mind off of it? Why did his brain keep tingling like something was happening? It was almost as though he could hear a pain echoing through his head, a pain that would never leave him. He felt like driving the lightsaber through his head. 

"Why won't you leave me alone?" he yelled. His own voice bounced back at him, off the cave walls. He smashed an egg into dust.

This cave spawned crystals and kinrath. Atton was here for neither.

"Where is it coming from?" he asked himself out loud. The pulsing vibrations had been troubling him since the morning, but now that he was in the heart of the cave, he felt as though they were rattling his entire skull, from the top of his head straight through his jaw.

He stumbled towards the center of the chamber, where the dissonance became the most powerful. He grabbed onto the largest of the crystal formations, and suddenly the pain grew into agony. Atton cried out as he fell down and rolled down the slope. By the time he reached the bottom, he was staring up at the top of the damp cave, and he finally knew whose pain he was hearing.

"Alainna?" he asked the emptiness around him. The name rang throughout the enclosure, almost as a confirmation. Rubbing his back, he sat up and crawled, frightened, to the crystals that he had touched before. This time, he gripped them as tightly as he could.

Anguish flooded Atton's senses as he felt the fierce pain that he knew Alainna must have been feeling. He struggled to hang onto the sensation, to keep him from being consumed by the pain, and in a flashing moment, he was able to see everything around her. All he needed was three letters: TSF.

As Atton let go, the pain propelled him backwards. Atton rolled onto the ground, ecstasy overwhelming his pain.

* * *

"Mira, Visas, Mical, pack up. We're going to Telos." 

"What's up?" Mira looked up from her datapad to see Bao-Dur whisk through the room.

"I'll explain when we're on the ship," said Bao-Dur. "Now let's go."

Mira looked back and forth from Visas to Mical, both of whom seemed to be as confused as she was.

"Hey," called Mira, "what about Atton? Does he know where we are?"

Bao-Dur half-smiled. "If I know Atton," he said, "he could already be halfway there."

The four of them did not need to do much packing; they usually kept their excess equipment on the _Hawk_. Grabbing their lightsabers, they followed Bao-Dur. Mira walked at a faster pace than the others to catch up with Bao-Dur, whose long strides kept him reasonably ahead of the other Jedi.

"Who's covering our classes, Bao-Dur?"

"I've got it under control, Mira."

"Are you serious? How long are we going to be gone?"

"Don't know. Could be some time."

"We're the core of the Academy! How is it going to function?"

"Well enough. I've put some of the most advanced students in charge, Mira. Don't worry so much."

"Just because they're mature students doesn't mean they can handle it. _I_ can barely handle it half the time. And why all the secrecy?"

"Because anyone could have this place bugged."

"Oh, and the _Hawk_ couldn't _possibly_ be bugged."

"Not the way HK takes care of things."

"Is that thing still onboard? I'm not so sure about this..."

"You'll understand, Mira. I promise."

Mira narrowed her eyes. "Well, okay," she said, "but it'd better be worth it."

The four of them walked in complete silence, except for the quiet cascade of the fountain in the Enclave's sublevel. As they left, walking Dantooine's dew-soaked plains towards the _Ebon Hawk_, Mira breathed in the chill morning air and shivered. _Refreshing, and yet so very painful,_ she reflected. _I hope that doesn't mean something._

The four of them walked into the ship and were greeted by the bronze assassin droid that Alainna had left behind after her mysterious departure, a year, three months, and twenty days ago, if Atton was correct.

"Begrudging Salutation," began the droid, "Welcome, neglectful meatbags! It has been so long since you came to see if I was even functioning! I was beginning to think that perhaps you had all forgotten about me until Rand informed me of this sadly peaceful journey."

"Atton?" asked Mical, confused. "Is he here?"

HK-47 turned its ruby red photoreceptors on the bewildered historian. "Why, of course, meatbag. He is priming the engines as we speak. He has been here all afternoon, as a matter of fact, grating on my metaphorical nerves."

Mira turned to Bao-Dur. "Did you know Atton was on board?"

"I had my suspicions. Honestly, I thought he'd be at Telos already."

"Yeah," said Atton, walking into the garage, "but I thought I'd go the cheap way. I mean, I didn't want you guys to _worry_ about me or anything."

"The thought hadn't crossed our minds," said Mical pointedly.

"Master Bao-Dur," Visas broke in, "would now be the time to ask you exactly why we're going to Telos so suddenly?"

Bao-Dur thought for a moment before gesturing for everyone to follow him into the main hold. They proceeded without question. Once in the hold, they instinctively arranged themselves into a circle around the hologram projector.

"I received this transmission last night, from the colony on Telos."

Bao-Dur slid the datapad he used to store transmissions to and from the Enclave into a slot on the side of the round fixture. A soldier dressed in Republic garb flickered into being.

"Master Jedi," she began, "we are requesting your presence at the Uris colony of Telos to investigate the matter of two Jedi who crashed on the surface of the planet yesterday afternoon. We do not have many details on the crash as of yet; one of the Jedi is in critical condition, and the other is unconscious at the moment. Please respond as soon as possible. Telos Security Forces, signing off."

Everyone was silent, sobered by the message and the implications it held. Bao-Dur looked at Atton sympathetically as Atton stared at where the hologram had been, his eyes filled with an incomprehensible ache. Mical's face was paralyzed, frozen into shock, and Mira became dizzy. Visas remained inscrutably silent.

"It's not..." began Mical.

Bao-Dur shrugged. Atton reacted slightly, but decided not to say anything.

"After I received the transmission," continued Bao-Dur, "I replied and told them that we would come this morning. At that point, I knew that Atton was missing, and I assumed, naturally, that he had somehow caught this news before I had, which would be unsurprising, considering some of his..." Bao-Dur looked at Atton with a smirk, "contacts. I got on the ship this morning to prepare for the trip, and I found that Atton was already waiting for us."

"Took you long enough, too," Atton cracked half-heartedly.

"How..." Mira began. Looking into Atton's anguished eyes, she thought better of her question. "Never mind. So... let's go, then."

"My thoughts exactly," Atton said, almost pleadingly, to Bao-Dur.

_

* * *

Revan relived the past six years in her sleeping mind. She could not snap herself out of these nightmares, these reenactments of the tragedies she had seen. She could almost feel the pain, feel herself beaten over and over by those unstoppable enemies. Then she felt the helplessness again when she realized over and over that she was wrong about how to defeat these creatures. She could not do it alone, or with just two people._

_She could not handle it. The discouragement flooded her as she begged to whoever was listening to let her wake up again before it was too late and she did not want to._

_Then, she felt warmth. Wherever she was, somebody was nearby, someone who loved her._

_Carth. Carth was with her now._

_

* * *

_**Author's Note: Thanks to all who reviewed! Just some quick responses:**

**Ewanlover64 - Well, we'll just have to see... heh heh heh...**

**Alexandra3 - I agree (about Mira). I realized that while I was editing this for the last time, but I decided to use this excuse as soon as someone pointed it out: Exile's leaving has basically shaken everything up. Ok, it's not a good excuse, but it's there nonetheless.**

**R Little Dragon - And this is just the beginning, believe me...**

**And to all the rest of you ravenous hordes of fangirls/boys - thanks for reviewing! I shall return!  
**


	3. Can't Touch This

**Chapter 3: Can't Touch This**

Atton slammed a fist into the wall, startling Mira awake. She looked around to find herself still at the Telos Security Offices. Rolling her eyes, she sat up and stretched her arms up.

"Atton," she complained, "would you calm down? How long have I been asleep?"

"About an hour," Bao-Dur replied calmly, sitting beside Mira and staring straight ahead. He seemed completely unruffled by Atton's rage.

"I thought they were supposed to let him see her forty-five minutes ago," Mira remembered with a yawn.

"There were some unforeseen complications," Bao-Dur explained, motioning with his head towards Mical.

Mira looked over at Mical, who was sitting in a chair on the other side of the room, staring, shocked, into space.

"Such as?" asked Mira, beginning to feel worried.

"The General is in more critical condition than was first believed," Bao-Dur said. Mira noticed dark circles beneath his eyes. Had he slept at all on the agitated voyage to Telos? She did not recall seeing him resting, but she had assumed that Bao-Dur was simply resting at the same time as Mira had been. With the incisive tension between Atton and Mical inescapable on the journey, she had rarely ventured outside of her quarters.

Mira furrowed her brow and decided not to venture any further into this conversation. She assumed that she would learn what was happening soon enough. She turned over into a more comfortable position, hoping to get more sleep. It was not often she was able to seize such a chance, and until now, she had not fully realized the toll it had taken on her.

Quickly, she lapsed into reassuring slumber.

_

* * *

All she could hear was the thump of her heartbeat as she floated. She concentrated, she pulled, every pulse of life sending waves of pain through her as she tried to move._

_She knew not in what she was drifting, and she could barely see through the strange, glutinous substance surrounding her. The sensation was familiar enough, though, and Alainna took a grim comfort in the knowledge that if she died now, she would probably die among acquaintances, or, at the very least, people who did not want to torture her and destroy her galaxy._

_Alainna's senses began to return, and her surroundings began to sting her eyes and nose, more with discomfort than with true pain._

_Then came the memories. Alainna wanted to cry out for help. She found this difficult, however, as there was a device of some sort wedged in her mouth, probably keeping her alive, she realized._

_More memories._ Revan! Sith!_ Alainna felt an intense pain course through her, and cracks suddenly appeared before her, splintering the walls which contained Alainna. The cracks split, letting loose a deluge of fluid and Jedi onto the floor of the stark room in which Alainna found herself. Alainna shivered as cold air rushed against her, hitting her hard and nearly pressing her flat to the smooth floor._

_Voices. Basic. Alainna was home._

_"Call for backup! Hey, Jedi… you all right?"_

_"Don't touch her!"_

_"Wait for backup! It's all right, Jedi, we'll… where is that backup?"_

_Alainna coughed, driving the apparatus in her mouth out and away from her. She felt two hands on her back, trying to steady her as her wheezing pushed her into a curled-up position._

_"What are you doing?" called an urgent voice. Alainna whipped her head up, trying to see who was yelling, but she moved too quickly, and the world seemed to spin around her. Too late, she realized that the voice was speaking not to her, but to the officer whose hands were on her back._

_"What are you doing, lieutenant?" the voice repeated. "Don't touch her!"_

_As Alainna tried to steady herself, she worked out this command in her mind, and she remembered. She remembered everything that had happened, save the event of her very return. She understood the cause for concern now._

_"I…" she started, but began to sputter. Air was rushing into her lungs too fast, but not fast enough. The world went dark._

* * *

"Remind me again why you can't tell me what's going on, Bao-Dur?" 

Bao-Dur smiled sadly. "You'll know soon enough, Mira, but I think it would be better… if she told you herself."

"So can I take it Alainna's not dead?"

"You may."

"And how do Mical and Atton know what's up?"

Bao-Dur frowned, staring out into space. "They both knew. As soon as we arrived on Telos, they knew, to some extent. They knew something was wrong with her. While you were sleeping, I understand that Atton and Mical managed to hunt down a doctor with the information that they wanted. It was a bit of an historic moment. Atton and Mical working together."

Mira nodded, imagining how much bribery would have to have gone into such an endeavor. "Wow," she sighed, "I can sleep through anything. Wait, Bao-Dur—_you_ know what's wrong with Alainna, right?"

Mira watched as Bao-Dur's eyes took on a detached look.

"Yeah," Bao-Dur murmured, "I know why the General's in there."

Silence.

"You're… not gonna tell me."

Bao-Dur blinked rapidly and smiled slightly, shaking his head. "I don't really want to talk about it. I wouldn't anyway. Wouldn't want to lose my cryptic Jedi edge, would I? That's enough for the time being, I think."

Mira quirked a scarlet eyebrow, but let the matter go.

_For now,_ she promised silently. _But this better not take much longer._

_

* * *

_**A/N: Ok, it's short, but the next one's coming a lot sooner! Really! I don't know if I got quite the desired suspense here, but just imagine it's really suspenseful if this doesn't do it for you. And there's more angst on the way... dun dun DUNNNN...**


	4. Bring Me to Life

**Chapter 4: Bring Me To Life**

For Admiral Onasi, every moment was a lifetime.

He had been sitting beside Revan for hours, watching her breathe, fearing between each rise and fall of her bandaged chest that there would not be another. Never in his life had Carth Onasi felt such a strong desire for anything.

No, that was not true, he realized. Once. Once before, as his wife lay dying in his arms those years ago, he had hoped for something that deeply. That time, his hope was left unfulfilled, and he had been left empty amidst the ruins of Telos.

Would this time be the same? Carth could not bear the pain of losing another love on this planet.

"Wake up, Revan," he whispered to her. Her face was utterly still, deeply beyond sleep. Revan's face had always been active in sleep. Carth remembered a time when he would stay awake (sometimes involuntarily, having been kicked during one of Revan's more active dreams) and watch her as she slept fitfully, trying to discern what she was dreaming of. He realized now that those were probably the dreams that caused her to leave, caused her to end up like this.

As he contemplated this, he failed to notice Revan's fingers start to twitch.

Carth was brought back to reality by a faint moan coming from Revan's pale lips. Suddenly, as though she had been merely resting, Revan sprang forward, her eyes darting around the room. She nearly became tangled in the tubes hanging around her, but she deftly moved away from them and surveyed her surroundings. Finally, she saw Carth.

"Oh…" she whispered in disbelief, "Carth…"

Revan leapt to the side of her bed, embracing Carth, her body trembling with the cold. Her forehead was like ice against Carth's mouth, and Carth could feel Revan's heart pounding to restore heat to her entire body. Revan, exhausted, let her arms go limp around Carth, whereas Carth held her tightly, a sensation both of them had been longing for constantly over the past five years.

"Revan," Carth said hoarsely, "I swear, I will never leave you again. I will never… never let you go."

Revan was too exhausted to speak, and, instead, weakly moved her lips to touch Carth's. Breathing in the air around Carth was enough for her now, knowing that she was safe, that there were no more demons. No more Sith for her. Not for now, at least.

It did not matter now. Revan kept forcing herself to think that, to live in the moment, because she knew she could not stand thinking about whatever was coming next.

As Carth held her tighter, Revan knew that he must have been thinking exactly the same thing.

* * *

In the waiting room, Mira and Atton finished off what had to be their tenth game of Pazaak. Republic Senate rules or not, Mira was going insane from the game. There _had_ to be a better way of pacifying Atton than this. 

Behind Atton, Visas turned suddenly towards the door leading to the remainder of the medical center. Noticing this, Mira followed suit, and heard frantic yelling from where Visas was looking. Though the voices were muffled through the door, Mira thought she could make out some phrases suggesting that something urgent regarding Alainna was happening.

"What?" asked Atton, turning to where Mira was looking. He heard the word "Jedi," and jumped up to head for the door. Mira grabbed at his sleeve, but Atton shook her off. The girl leapt up and whirled around in front of him, pushing him backwards.

"Atton," Mira snapped, "sit down. You aren't helping anything."

She looked up at him, and the murderous look in his eyes made her fire waver. Atton shoved her to the side, and Mira tugged on his sleeve brutally.

"Sit _down_!"

"No," he growled. "I'm not going to let her go."

"You're not! Atton, what could you possibly do to help her in there? Even Mical's staying back, and he actually _does _know something about medical… stuff."

Atton was still struggling to pull his arm away from Mira. He was surprised at how strong Mira's tiny form was, and both of them strained until finally, Visas' voice rang out from behind them.

"Stop," Visas commanded. "Both of you. Think of everything you teach… discipline, calm, peace. Think. We stand for something. Do not forget that."

Mira and Atton found themselves lightly propelled away from each other and the door. Mira looked over to see Visas standing, her hand slightly extended, pressing Atton and Mira against opposite walls.

"Do _not_ forget that," she repeated, walking away. Mira and Atton glared across at each other, but neither of them felt justified in standing again.

Bao-Dur walked into the room. His presence was unusually flustered, and Mira jumped to meet him.

"The General," breathed Bao-Dur. "She's… freed herself, somehow."

Atton's jaw dropped. Bao-Dur continued.

"She's recovering consciousness… we should be able to see her in about an hour, if all goes relatively well. Atton, I know you know this, but still… don't get too close to the General, all right?"

Mira nodded obediently.

"Good," said Bao-Dur. "I've already discussed this all with Mical and Visas. Perhaps you should join us in the outer waiting area… it would be good for us to meditate together until the General is recovered enough for us to see her."

Mira and Atton rose, following Bao-Dur. Out of the corner of her eye, Mira thought that Atton looked even more worried now than he had when the Exile had been on the verge of death. Just what were they not telling Mira?

* * *

A droid pushed another needle under Alainna's skin, and the Jedi was not sure just how much more fluid her body could handle. Through bleary eyes, she could see a small crowd of gawking Telosian officers and medics, none of who would venture too near to the battered Jedi. 

Alainna must have blacked out, because the next thing she knew, the multitude had transformed into a single peering Twi'lek doctor, who was muttering to himself grimly in Huttese.

"Master Jedi," said the doctor in low-pitched Basic. Alainna instinctively wanted to protest the inaccurate title, but couldn't find the strength. "You have some visitors. Please, do not try to speak. You are aware of your condition, correct?"

"Mhmm," Alainna affirmed.

"Good. If you have any problems, these droids will be exceptionally tuned in to you. You need only move a hand, and a droid will move to assist you."

_Shows what kind of condition I'm in_, thought Alainna. Alainna was not sure she could even lift a finger, but she was in such a hazy state that she did not particularly care.

The doctor left. Replacing him were the Jedi of Alainna's former crew, the sight of whom made Alainna's mouth twitch in an attempt at a smile. The six of them sat in silence for a few moments. Then, the room filled with a quiet, resonant hum as the five Jedi sitting around Alainna concentrated on restoring the central Jedi's strength.

For what turned out to be at least one-and-a-half standard hours, they meditated together, until finally Alainna had the strength to sit up and speak.

"Hey," she said groggily. "I missed you guys out there."

The other Jedi were speechless, overcome with various emotions.

"Wow… so… guess I'll start with the bad news."

"Must you?" asked Mical meekly, a half-smile feigning relief on his aggrieved face.

"Yeah… um… I… I guess you knew I was out in the Sith Empire… and these Sith… they're the originals. The species. They're… really, they're geniuses. And they have poisons… poisons that only affect non-Sith organics. They spread a pathogen through skin-to-skin contact… a pathogen that eats away at you on the inside, some more quickly than others.

No one made a sound. They all knew what Alainna was getting at.

"Yeah… I'm poisoned," Alainna admitted, her eyes moist. "And the only cure is back in the Sith Empire."


	5. Before the Storm

**MAJOR thanks to Ewanlover64 for major major edits! Go read her stories! But only after you read this here long-overdue update. :P **

* * *

**Chapter 5: Before the Storm **

Atton clenched his teeth and muffled a bloodcurdling scream with his sleeve. He walked further down the hall, ready to hunt down Revan, in whichever room she was, and strangle her with his bare hands. _Revan_ was the one who had dragged Alainna to the Sith to get infected. _Revan_ who had put Alainna through incredible pain and against impossible odds._Revan_ was the one who should be facing death. 

It had taken all of Atton's willpower to keep from screaming while he had been in the room with Alainna. He had wanted to kill something... _someone_. He had felt the familiar dark urges tearing at him, as they had so many times before... during those years in Revan's army.

_Dying_. He could not believe that. He _would not _believe that.

"Atton," said Visas, her voice sharp.

Atton spun to face the Miraluka. "What do _you _want?"

"Atton, that was uncalled for." The Miraluka's smooth voice carried a note of brittle anger. "You need to learn to control yourself."

"Shut_ up_! You think that just because you can 'see' through the Force, you can tell us all what we need to do?! All you Jedi are all the same!"

"Atton, you _are _a Jedi."

Visas did not move. Her body language was typically inscrutable.

"Fine," hissed Atton. "I'll go back in there and... I'll calm down. Whatever. But this doesn't change anything. She--"

Atton bit his tongue to stifle the thought. There was a bloodthirsty glint in his eyes as he looked around, and it was obvious that he still wanted his revenge on Revan.

"She brought her. She... _lured_ her there and now..."

Atton turned back to Visas and stood up straighter in an attempt to try and compose himself. _An act,_ Visas believed, but let it go.

"Just leave me alone. I'll play nice." Atton's promise was met by silence. His gaze fell.

Visas nodded slightly, pleased with this show of submission. They turned and went back inside, Atton stomping ahead and Visas gliding behind.

* * *

Mical sat stoic, save for his twitching hands, as Alainna spoke quietly to Bao-Dur about the course of action ahead. Their grim words were inaudible, forcing Mical to be alone with his thoughts, which was not what he needed at the moment.

Alainna was superficially unmarked from the disease, as far as Mical could tell. She had lost weight, certainly, but that was probably a result of living in the hostile conditions of the Sith Empire more than of the disease.

Of course, Mical could not see much of Alainna's skin. Her garments, while tight enough to show her concave figure, covered her from neck to foot. Between her gloves and her sleeves, Mical was able to see the slightest bit of skin, but nothing that could give him any evidence as to her condition.

_Not such a comfort after all,_ Mical reflected despairingly.

"_You_ look gloomy," Mira said bluntly. "You're not beating yourself up about this, are you?"

"Should I be?" asked Mical, quiet. Mical had always been rather put off by the former bounty hunter's straightforward attitude. Frankly, he found it jarring.

"It's not that much of a stretch," explained Mira. "You're the doctor, she's got a disease you can't cure, and the only thing that can keep her from dying has a good chance of killing you both. You probably feel somewhat helpless and therefore guilty."

Mical shot her a frowning look.

"Just a thought." She shrugged.

Sadly, the thought made all too much sense to Mical.

"Look, it's not your fault. Don't feel guilty, okay?"

"And just why do you think you know exactly what I'm thinking?" asked Mical, curious rather than upset.

"Well, you may not stomp out of the room like _some_ people do," Mira said, gesturing at the door through which Atton had left, "but you're still a man, so you're easy enough to read."

"Quite a talent you've got there," Mical said dryly.

"Yeah," sighed Mira. "Too bad it only works on most human guys."

"I see."

"And a handful'a Twi'leks. Nothing else," Mira concluded, turning to look at Bao-Dur and Alainna, still out of earshot.

"Speak of easy to read," muttered Mical.

"What?" snapped Mira, turning back to Mical, eyes narrowed.

"Nothing." Mical shrugged innocently. Mira turned back to Bao-Dur and Alainna.

"Wonder what they're saying," Mira mused. Mical shrugged again, uncomfortable and impatient.

"Relax," Mira urged. "You really need to learn to calm down. In my experience, jumpy doctors don't get a lot of repeat business."

Mical smiled wanly. He relaxed slightly, which left him vulnerable to the exhaustion that was bound to set in. His vision grew slightly blurry and he stifled a yawn, which Mira's keen senses caught.

"You wanna go back to the ship?" Mira asked. "I'm sure she'd understand. Better than falling asleep while you're undressing her with your eyes, which, take it from me, is not very flattering."

Mical looked at her, bewildered by her comment. Mira smiled and shook her head.

Finally, Bao-Dur broke away from Alainna and moved towards Mira and Mical.

"We've made our plans," Bao-Dur said, his gaze alternating between Mira and Mical. "We're going to leave as soon as possible. We'll--"

The door to the hallway burst open and slammed shut, but not before a red-faced Atton entered the room, followed by a calm Visas.

"As I was saying," Bao-Dur continued, "we'll take the _Ebon Hawk_--"

Mira groaned. Atton sighed with relief at the prospect of going back into space and off of this planet. He had been on that barren Dantooine for too long, and grassy Telos was certainly not much better. Fewer Jedi, perhaps, but otherwise...

Bao-Dur paused, and began again. "We'll take the _Ebon Hawk_ out into wherever the General directs us."

He looked around, waiting for protests. Mical, who had been studying the ground, looked up.

"Alainna's coming with us? Isn't... is she in proper condition?"

"Her disease, as far as we can tell, will not slow her down. Not yet, at least."

Mical raised his eyebrows.

"Obviously," Bao-Dur clarified, "plans might change. But the General is... insistent."

Mira smiled. At least Alainna had her spunk back. For a while, that had been what worried Mira the most.

Mical stood and stepped towards Bao-Dur. He opened his mouth, but faltered as he glanced towards Alainna and then swallowed as a medical droid injected a solution into her arm. He caught a glimpse of a bruise that seemed to cover her entire forearm, and he suddenly felt furious.

He turned back to Bao-Dur, who blinked, surprised at the look in the doctor's eyes.

"Then what," Mical asked, "are we waiting for?"


	6. Exodus

**Chapter 6: Exodus**

Alainna loved the smell of the _Ebon Hawk_.

The first time she had stepped aboard, she recalled, she had not felt quite the same way. The ship had smelled of cold metal and residual gizka, with just a trace of something that, at the time, had made the hair on the back of Alainna's neck stand up in a way that was overly dramatic.

Now, it smelled to her like home and hope.

_Hope._ The feeling was nearly a shock to Alainna's system; she could barely recognize it, having been estranged from it for so long.

"General," Bao-Dur said from behind Alainna, startling her slightly, "welcome back."

Alainna smiled. "Thank you, Bao-Dur." She inhaled deeply. "It's good to be back."

She walked deeper into the _Hawk_, clearly remembering every inch of it. With a bounce to her stride that gave everyone who glimpsed it hope for her health, she headed directly to the cockpit. There at the controls sat Atton, who turned at the sound of her footsteps. His sigh made it clear that he was unhappily expecting someone else, as did the start of his greeting.

"What do--"

He blinked rapidly.

Alainna laughed. "Nice to see you, too, Atton. Are we on our way?"

Atton turned quickly back to the controls. "Uh... yes. We are. Now. Almost. We will be soon, anyway. But, um..."

Atton scratched his head and turned to Alainna. His voice lower, he began to speak.

"Are you sure you're up to this?"

Alainna shrugged. "Beats sitting in a hospital on Telos for a month and then dying."

"Really? You'd rather travel with a group of cryptic Jedi for a week and_ then _die?"

"I'm glad to see _your_ outlook hasn't changed much. Atton, I can speak cryptically with the best of them. If you'll recall, I happen to _be_ a Jedi. And," she said, reaching past him to adjust a dial, "so do you."

Having fiddled with the controls to her satisfaction, Alainna stepped back and looked Atton squarely in the eye. He could tell that she was waiting for him to either confirm or deny what she had said, and he paused, waiting for an answer to come to him.

"I know," he said. "So what?"

Alainna shook her head. "That took too long, Atton. I'm not convinced."

Atton clenched his jaw. "Look," he said, "I don't know what more I can do. I don't know how I'm supposed to prove to you all that I'm a Jedi. I teach classes, I lift rocks, I... I don't know, I do Jedi things!"

"Atton, did you hear what you just said?"

Alainna was neither angry nor disgusted, but the concern in her eyes bordered on pity, and this served to make Atton far more upset than her anger would have. He closed his mouth.

"Atton, you're going about this the wrong way. You're trying to convince us all that you're a Jedi, but you need to believe it first."

One gloved hand reached up and stroked Atton's dark hair. He caught it, held it, bent its joints, and rested the cool leather covering Alainna's fingers against his cheek. Alainna looked at the ground, then back up to her hand. She ran long fingers down the side of Atton's face, remembering the feel of it, then pulled back her hand.

"Atton," she said, "please tell me that you feel like this whole Jedi identity crisis is a little better than it was before I left."

"How could it have been? You _left_. How could I possibly make any progress with you disappearing like that?"

Alainna sighed. "I... it was a mistake."

"What? Training me?" Atton's words came with a sneer.

"No! No. Just... letting you... not making you learn from anyone else."

"Like who?"

"Bao-Dur. Mical."

"Mical couldn't Jedi himself out of a paper bag."

"Atton, that doesn't mean anything."

"Well... you... you know what I mean!"

"It's still not true. Mical was on the Jedi Council, was he not?"

"Jedi Council. What a joke. It was three people, Alainna, ruling over about five more."

"Not true. And you weren't exactly one of those three people, Atton."

Atton looked more and more defeated with each sentence. Alainna felt a headache setting into her temples.

"Oh, Atton... I'm... I'm not saying you can't do it. I'm saying... I don't know what I'm saying anymore. Something about progressing. Do it. Progress. That sounds right. I need to go sit down."

Atton then remembered Alainna's medical condition, and, taking her sleeve-shielded arm, supported her to the medbay, where Atton and Alainna were greeted with a glare and deep concern, respectively.

"What did you do?"

"Mical, Atton didn't do anything. I just need a painkiller. Not a strong one, just something for a headache."

Mical nodded, and brought out the requested treatment. Instructing Alainna to lie down and shut her eyes for a moment, he turned to Atton.

"My apologies for assuming that you were involved in this," Mical said with a nod.

Atton shrugged.

"You must understand, I was simply--"

"Just do your job."

Mical nodded and, eager to avoid any anger towards Atton, returned to Alainna, who was nearly asleep now and either ignoring the tension between the two men in the room or simply too pained to notice.

Mical scanned Alainna's vitals remotely, using basic but adequate equipment that he had managed to acquire recently.

"She's fine right now," he said. Atton nodded, reassured.

"I guess I should go fly the ship, then."

"That might be best."

Atton left. Mical donned medical gloves and ran one finger down Alainna's jaw. As he had feared, it was tense even in her sleep.

"What did they do to you?" But though he asked, he hoped he never had to understand.

* * *

Mira had always liked her tiny space in the _Hawk_. She had no real reason for it, other than that it made her feel like she had some sort of privacy, some sort of Mira Zone, invitation only, infuriatingly calm Zabraks need not apply. 

Now, as before, she stepped into the Mira Zone and ran her fingers through her scarlet hair, pleased with the current arrangement, deadly diseases and lack of known coordinates aside. Those things did not bother Mira. Nothing was allowed to bother her right now; she was in the Mira Zone, and deadly diseases were in the same category as infuriatingly calm Zabraks.

So were psychopathic droids, she thought as she watched one approach. Mira stood in the doorway, refusing to let HK inside.

"What?"

"Weary Salutation: I assure you, meatbag, I am equally pleased to see you. Alas, here we are again, in a scene which, I am sure, my nightmares would readily recreate on a regular basis, were I to ever have a need for sleep."

"Great. So, getting back to my first question: What?"

"Instruction: The horned meatbag wants to see you."

"He couldn't have walked?"

"Patient Suggestion: Meatbag, perhaps this is a matter better discussed with the executor of the request."

Mira rolled her eyes and left the comfort of the Mira Zone to find Bao-Dur.

He was with the supplies, and the fact that Mira had looked for him in at least two other areas of the ship first had not put her in any better of a mood. Even if Bao-Dur had not been able to sense her through the Force, he would have heard her stomping towards the supply room, heard her sigh as she reached it. He finished taking inventory of the food, and turned to Mira.

"Thank you for waiting."

"Yeah. Anytime."

Bao-Dur allowed time for a pause, which always made Mira uncomfortable, particularly when she knew that it was her fault. She had a feeling that Bao-Dur could tell, good though she was at keeping discomfort from showing in her face or body language. Much as her skills had allowed her to survive in the nastiness of Nar Shaddaa, she often reflected, they had not prepared her for Bao-Dur.

"Sorry. What was it you wanted, Bao-Dur?"

"Mostly," he said, moving some rations into a plasteel container, "I was wondering how you are coping with all the recent... events."

"Coping?"

"It's not every day you have to pick up and leave for places that you know nothing about and have never heard of with a terminally ill woman you haven't seen in the past year. I wouldn't blame you if you felt some degree of... stress."

Mira snickered. "You kidding? This is paradise, as long as that droid leaves me alone. _Stress_ is having to put up with Atton's daily identity crises and Visas' power trips. And the only thing more stressful than having to stand up for Mical when Atton's tormenting him is when he stands up for himself and the whole thing turns into a fight."

Bao-Dur gave her a sympathetic smile, and she continued. "I mean, don't get me wrong. They all have their moments. And I'm sure they're mostly pretty good at Jedi-ing, too, or whatever. But I've popped more headache pills dealing with those three since Alainna left than I did the first time I met HK, and that's kind of saying something."

Bao-Dur laughed. It was a sound that Mira had rarely heard, a soft sound, and Mira caught sight of impressively white teeth.

"I hope," Bao-Dur said to her, "that you haven't popped too many on my account."

Mira shrugged. "You're not really a headache-causing kinda guy. You're... a little baffling, sometimes, but not seriously painful."

"Really? Baffling?"

"Well, you _are_ a Jedi, and the highest-ranking one in the whole group of us, at that. You're kind of entitled to it."

"Thanks."

"Not that there's anything wrong with that or anything. I guess. Maybe there is."

"And you say _I'm_ baffling?"

Mira suppressed a smile. Bao-Dur grinned. The following silence was not terribly uncomfortable.

"So, is that all you wanted to see me for?"

"I think that covers it. But if you need anything, you know where to find me."

"Funny thing about that. You move around a lot more these days."

"Well, I'll know where to find you, then."

Mira nodded, and walked back to her Mira Zone, where infuriatingly calm Zabraks were still not allowed._Reasonably sane ones, though,_ she thought, _might stand a chance._

The ship rumbled. Mira steadied herself against the doorframe.

They were airborne.


	7. Cabin Fever

**Chapter 7: Cabin Fever**

In her mind, Visas walked the ashes of Katarr for the thousandth time.

There was never anyone here... at least, not anyone intact. She could feel the death around her, sometimes still sense a fleeting warmth in the remains that littered the planet.

This time, though, there was something strong. It felt almost Miraluka, almost familiar... but off. Wrong. There was something missing in its presence that made it feel less alive than even the ossified limbs on the ground.

Visas followed the sensation until she perceived a tall being, clothed from the waist down in singed fabric and scarred from the waist up, slash marks crossing his chest in a supernatural injury, the possible origins of which escaped Visas... the marks seemed to ooze a dark energy, though they were closed...

"Visas Marr," he said, and Visas stood straighter, ready to fight if necessary.

"I'm listening."

"I'm not going to fight you, Visas Marr."

"Then why have you come?"

"You sense the darkness that comes from me, Visas Marr. You do not trust me."

"Should I?"

"This is your fate, Visas Marr, should you not." He gestured to his wounds.

"I do not understand."

"Understand this: Your ship is headed for a disease that will make your blood run black in your veins, that will corrupt your mind and body until the end, and you, Visas Marr, will find within yourself a darkness deeper than you thought was possible."

"And... why are you telling me this?"

The being looked up at the smoke-blackened sky. "I am not telling you, Miraluka." He faced her straight on. "I am commanding you."

"You... are commanding me to... find this darkness?"

"Yes."

"I do not--"

"Understanding will come in time. Patience, Visas Marr. I will return."

The being turned and left.

Visas snapped into reality, faster than usual, and her head spun for a moment. As it cleared, she stood, uneasy, and left the room.

She passed Bao-Dur, who looked up, acknowledging Visas with a nod.

_They see through you._

Visas stopped. Bao-Dur stopped his work and stepped toward her.

_They see the darkness within you._

Visas stepped away.

_He'll never trust you._

"Visas? Is everything all right?"

"My..."

Visas breathed deeply before continuing. "I'm fine. My head aches. I..."

She found herself unable to mention the vision, and turned to walk back to the quarters, where she had been meditating in the first place. As she stepped, she tripped, and Bao-Dur rushed to her side, taking her arm.

"Are you all right?"

"I'm fine."

"Perhaps you should speak with Mical."

She snatched her arm away. "I'm _fine_."

Bao-Dur stepped back and nodded.

Visas walked away.

"Best three outta five," Atton said, clearly dissatisfied.

Mira grinned. "Sorry, Atton, you're outta luck."

"Best. Three. Out-"

"Atton, it's nothing. It's ten credits. Just give it."

"It's not just ten credits! It's a matter of pride!"

"Atton, we're the only ones in the room."

Atton sighed and covered his eyes with his hand as he slid the credits over to Mira.

"Chill out, Atton."

"It's just so _dull _right now."

"Cabin fever?"

"You don't know the half of it."

The noise of footsteps caught Atton's and Mira's attention, and they turned to see Mical rifling through supplies. At their silence, Mical turned to them and smiled.

"Hey, Mical."

"Mira," Mical said, nodding, "Atton."

Atton's eyes narrowed, and he nodded sharply in Mical's direction. The silence increased in tension as Mical searched the rations. Mira rolled her eyes.

"I'll be out of the way in just a moment," Mical said, "don't mind me."

"I try," Atton said. Mical stopped for a moment, but thought better of retaliating and instead pulled an item out of the ration container.

"Right," Mical said, again turning to smile at both Mira and Atton, this time more tentatively. "See you both later, then."

"Till then, doc," Mira said before whipping around to Atton. "Could you just grow up already?"

"Hey, I--"

"Atton, there is no way you can possibly defend bullying Mical around."

"I--"

"_Rationally _defend bullying Mical around."

"We've been on this ship forever! Even when we dock, we don't get to leave for anything more than supplies, and that's basically just her and Bao-Dur or Bao-Dur and Mical or something. That doesn't bug you at all?"

Mira shrugged. "You know me. I'd probably botch the whole supply deal, wander into a cantina, get in a fight with some deadly Twi'lek bounty hunters in an attempt to hit on something so that I wasn't so bored. Oh, wait, that's not me."

"Hey, I took those two out without any trouble, thank you very much. And you weren't even there!"

"Whatever. It's not like you actually killed them or anything."

"It's also not like it happens on a regular basis!"

"And see, that's because we keep you on the ship now."

"You can't prove that if you never let me out!"

"I think that's kind of the idea, Atton."

A sigh came from behind them, and they turned to see Bao-Dur.

"Atton, aren't you supposed to be piloting?"

"It's on auto. We're fine for another hour or something, at least."

Bao-Dur nodded slowly. "Mmhmm."

Mira suppressed a grin. Atton began shuffling the cards again.

"Atton."

Atton looked up at the Zabrak.

"You need to fly the ship, Atton."

Atton sighed and passed the deck to Mira, then stood and left. Bao-Dur took the now-empty seat across from Mira.

"Deal me in?"

"Never pegged you as the Pazaak-playing type, Bao."

"I have my moments."

Mira handed him the deck, and he shuffled effortlessly.

Three games later, Mira had lost the money she had won from Atton, and then some.

"You're not a Jedi," Mira said. "You are a vicious, vicious creature."

Bao-Dur smiled. "And you have lost enough credits for today." He handed the deck back to Mira.

"Yeah, looks like the games are gonna have to have more... creative stakes from now on."

Bao-Dur raised an eyebrow. Mira sighed, exasperated.

"I was _not_ thinking of Nar Shaddaa rules," she said. "You're sick."

"I didn't say a word. I don't even see what the point is of wagering anything at this point. Where we're going, we're going to have to pool our assets, anyway."

Mira shrugged. "Then it's not like we're losing anything. Credits aren't gonna be any good, anyway."

"Until we get back."

Mira gave him a skeptical look. "_If_ we get back," she said, "_then_ I will worry about conning you out of my credits."

Bao-Dur half-smiled. "Thanks for the warning."

He took the credits off of the table and counted them to himself.

"Bao-Dur?"

Bao-Dur looked up, still counting. "Mira?"

"Do you think we're ever gonna get back here?"

Bao-Dur leaned back in his seat. "I'd like to. The odds have certainly been stacked against us in the past. By all accounts, you should be a trophy on that Wookiee's wall, and I should have been eaten by one of those beasts on Malachor. And yet, here we are."

"But that was mostly thanks to the Force, right? Does the Force... does it even work outside the galaxy? In the same way?"

Bao-Dur thought. "The Force binds us all, so long as it exists. It is, essentially, neutral, balanced, and I can't think of another way that it would be."

"Could it... could it be tainted, somehow? Given that these are Sith regions or whatever that we're going to?"

Bao-Dur smiled and shook his head. "Honestly, Mira, I couldn't say. When we get there, maybe... but that remains to be seen."

He took her hand and held it, palm-up, over the table, placing the credits he had been counting in her hand. She looked up at him, puzzled.

"We're making one more stop before we hit the Sith regions. You'll probably want this when you and Mical go planetside."

Mira smiled. "You're just worried about what I'd do to get it out of you later."

"Con games aren't really my strong suit."

"And gratitude isn't really mine, but... thanks."

Bao-Dur left.

_I'm gonna need a rigged pazaak deck if I ever want to stand a chance against him again, anyway..._

Atton felt distinctly friendless.

Granted, he had been difficult all through the journey, particularly today, and yes, he was being entirely irrational about most things, but that...

Actually, he couldn't really think of a way to rationalize more than about an eighth of that.

"Salutation: Greetings, meatbag! I am here to serve!"

Atton grimaced.

"Really."

"Correction: By 'serve,' I mean 'assist in a way that will keep me occupied enough not to have to provoke the wrath of other meatbags by taking apart their weapons and then putting them back together in alternative designs.'"

"Yeah, you're getting pretty bored too, huh?"

"Correction: I am, in fact, a droid, and therefore incapable of feeling any such sensation."

Atton shook his head. "Yeah, right."

Beeps and whistles alerted Atton to the presence of T3-M4, and Atton leaned back in his seat with a groan.

"Hey," he said, "you guys wanna pilot? That should keep you busy, yeah?"

T3-M4 whistled what sounded to Atton like an affirmative.

"That a yes?"

Atton held out the course charts, inciting more beeping.

"Interpretation: The astromech has now used several different synonyms of the word 'lazy' to describe you, and firmly believes that you know what you can do with your course charts."

Atton leaned his head against the wall. "You don't even know how much I don't need this right now."

"Addendum: I, however, would be glad to do your job, meatbag. Fewer things fill me with more satisfaction than doing a meatbag's job with greater efficiency than the meatbag himself possibly can."

"Great. You guys just start plugging away on that, then. I've got to go do something else. Anything else."

Atton left and walked down the hallway until he reached the medbay, where Alainna was covered in electrodes and Mical was reading and rereading vital signs.

"Hey, um..."

Mical looked up. "Oh, hello, Atton. Can I help you?"

"I just... can I stick around? For moral support? I promise I won't... get in the way."

Mical looked to Alainna, who nodded.

"Of course," Mical said. He returned to checking and recording. "You might have to hang around in the doorway; it's not exactly the largest room on the _Hawk_, which doesn't exactly give it much in the way of size."

Atton shrugged.

Alainna closed her eyes, trying to relax. "What's on your mind, Atton?"

"Too much, none of it very uplifting."

Alainna smiled. "You must be pretty sick of this ship by now."

"Well, I don't mean to complain..."

Mical rolled his eyes, but Atton missed the gesture.

"All right," Mical said, "you're done for today."

"Thanks, Mical." Alainna stood, removing the electrodes from her skin and pulling her robe on over the black bodysuit that she wore to protect the rest of the crew. "Walk with me, Atton."

The two of them walked to the cockpit in silence.

"HK, T3, you're relieved," Alainna said. T3-M4 whistled and sped away.

"Protestation: But, master, we have only just begun to get reacquainted with the ship!"

"Oh yeah? Did you find anything interesting?"

"Tentative Response: Not particularly, master, except for the historical documents..."

"The map to the Star Forge is not only not a new thing, but also entirely obsolete, as it's been entirely destroyed. You _must_ be bored."

"Correction: As a droid--"

"_Out._"

HK-47 left. Alainna sat in the pilot's seat and scanned all the dials before turning back to Atton.

"Talk to me."

Atton furrowed his brow. "I don't know. I guess I'm... I mean, why do I not get to go buy things at the docks?"

"Because you're the only one who can make a quick getaway if we need it. I need you here for that."

This made Atton feel better, but failed to relieve his boredom and much of his irritability.

"Atton, we only have one more stop before we reach the Sith, and then, I assure you, we will not be lacking for action."

"Hey, since when can you get into my head that effectively?"

Alainna smirked. "You're easier to read sometimes. Can you please calm down now?"

Atton sighed, Alainna's presence soothing him. "It's been a slow day."

A scream echoed from the quarters. Alainna blanched, and she jumped up. "Get the droids back on piloting and then come back here."

She ran.


	8. Everyone's a Philosopher

**Chapter 8: Everyone's a Philosopher  
**

Mical had impressive arms.

He usually tried not to be too vain about his upper body, but now, carrying Visas to the medbay, he could not help but be grateful for it. Visas was dead weight right now; Mical had never seen her so relaxed.

It was not something he ever wanted to see again. Visas was not at all herself when she was this unconscious: her dignity was gone, not a trace of her usual poise as her limp arms flopped about. It was a frightening sight.

Mical called over Atton to help him, and they lay Visas out on the medbay.

"Thank you." Atton nodded, and Alainna shooed him away. Frowning, Atton left.

Mical took a quick read of Visas' vitals.

"She's not sweating profusely... her breathing, her heart rate... they're returning to normal." He looked up at Alainna, who stood, concerned.

"She simply passed out," Mical said. "Whatever it was that made her pass out must have been... psychological."

Alainna threw up her hands. "I kind of figured. I mean, she was kind of screaming."

Mical shrugged. "Whatever it is, we're going to have to wait for her to wake up before we get to hear about it. Luckily, I don't think it will have to be a long wait."

Alainna nodded. "Can I stick around?"

"By all means. It should only be a matter of minutes."

As per Mical's belief, Visas soon stirred.

She began, with obvious difficulty, to speak. "I..."

Alainna hushed her. "Take it easy, Visas. You can talk to us as soon as you're ready."

Atton appeared in the doorway.

"So," he said, "we're about to dock."

The room went into a dark silence, and everyone looked to Alainna, who looked to the ground.

Mical finally spoke. "I was going to go, but... I suppose I should stay and monitor Visas."

Alainna nodded. "Bao-Dur will go in your place."

Atton tried not to look disappointed.

"Atton?"

Atton perked up, hopeful.

"Yeah?"

"Can you go let Bao-Dur know?"

Atton bit his lip. "Yeah, I'll get on it."

* * *

As Atton walked to find Bao-Dur, he felt very much like giving up. He _tried_ not to fight and he _tried_ to be useful, but it seemed to him as though _they_ were giving up on _him_ anyway. Why not help them out?

He shook his head. He knew he could never leave Alainna. So long as there was the slightest chance that he could help her, he would do it.

It would be so much easier to do it if he got to set foot off the ship once in a while, though.

"Query: Might I ask where you think you're going, meatbag?"

Atton jumped. "What... why do _you_ care?"

"Explanation: Because, meatbag," HK-47 said, "you have been through this room four times now and still appear to be looking for something."

"Oh." Atton looked around. "Right. I'm... I am. I guess I got kind of carried away."

"Conjecture: Perhaps you are looking for something on a metaphorical level as well, meatbag Rand."

"What do _you_ know? And why are you suddenly going philosophical on me?"

"Irritated Statement: I do not 'go philosophical,' meatbag. I merely believe that if you could solve said metaphorical puzzle, you would manage to be of more use to the master. Or, at least, stop pacing around the same room."

Atton shot HK a look of mistrust.

"Resigned Statement: All right, meatbag, go ahead and be as useless as you want. Clearly, I cannot stop you."

Atton took a step towards the droid. "I... am _not_ useless."

HK-47 turned its photoreceptors to look straight at Atton. "Recommendation: Say it with feeling, meatbag."

"I am NOT useless."

HK-47's photoreceptors flashed, almost with glee. "Encouragement: Bravo, meatbag! Perhaps you are a piece closer to solving your internal dilemma than you thought. Or, at least, it is a start."

Atton nodded. "Yeah. You know, I... really don't want to thank you, because you're a droid, but if I ever get to a point where I'm all right with that... then remind me to thank you."

"Begrudging Statement: You're _so_ welcome, meatbag."

Atton walked out of the room, this time paying attention to where he was going.

_I am not useless. I am NOT useless. I am not USELESS. I AM not useless. _I_ am not useless..._

It was hardly his ideal self-esteem level, walking around and running errands while repeating to himself that he was not useless. But as HK had said, perhaps it was a start.

He found Bao-Dur doing what looked like warming his hands on the hyperdrive.

"Hey, Bao. Big cheese wants you and Mira planetside. We've docked, and Mical's busy with Visas."

"Thank you, Atton."

"What are you doing over there?"

Bao-Dur turned away from the hyperdrive and began to walk towards the door of the engine room. "Nothing," he said. "Reading the energy from the engine."

"What, through the Force?"

"Through the Force."

Atton sighed, uselessness dragging down his mindset again. "I didn't even know you could really _do_ that unless you were like... I don't know, some sort of Jedi Emperor or something."

Bao-Dur chuckled.

"I always _was_ better with machines," Bao-Dur.

"Seriously, what's _up_ with that? Everyone..."

Atton hesitated. He had never contemplated talking to Bao-Dur about his crisis without it ending in one of them killing the other. Still, it was worth a try, he supposed.

"Atton?"

"Everyone has something. Mira can read people like crazy, you can... you can talk to the machines or something, I don't know, Mical can heal people, Visas... I don't know exactly what she's good at, but whatever it is is so creepy that it makes _her_ freak out."

"Oh yeah? What about Alainna?"

"She's good at _everything_."

"Mhm. So?"

"So here I am, still not all that great at lifting rocks."

Bao-Dur looked at him, and his face was serious. Atton had expected more mocking on Bao-Dur's part. Not that he was complaining at being taken seriously for once...

"Atton, you know, you're not useless."

"So I tell myself."

"You wouldn't be here if you weren't needed here, you know. We go and drag you back from cantina after cantina when you've run off from the Academy, and we don't do it for our collective health. We don't do it because you're fun to pick on, Atton."

Atton frowned.

"We do it because you're part of the team. Just because you don't think you're good at one particular thing doesn't mean you're not necessary."

"Yeah, but I'm not good at _any_thing."

"No, Atton. What you're not good at is you."

"Cryptic is not helpful, Bao-Dur."

Bao-Dur frowned.

"Atton, you've changed your identity so many times, been so many different people... I don't think you know who you really are. I don't even know if you want to know, anymore. But... you have to, Atton."

Atton shook his head. "No one should know me the way I was."

Bao-Dur frowned. "You need to know who you are, Atton... this is the way."

"Right." He shook his head and turned to leave, calling back, "You'd better get planetside."


	9. One Last Run

**Chapter 9: One Last Run**

Bao-Dur and Mira walked from the dock. Mira did not remember the name of the planet that they were on now, but it was a credit-a-dozen kind of planet, anyway, so far from the core that she felt confident in making snap judgements left and right, mostly about how boring it was.

"So," Mira said, tired of the silence between her and Bao-Dur, "what's up with Visas, exactly?"

"I'm not exactly sure," Bao-Dur replied. "She told me she had a headache. Then she walked away and… passed out, for whatever reason."

"Headache. That's… putting it mildly, I would think."

"Yes." Bao-Dur smiled for a moment, and then silence overtook them again, staying with them until they reached what Mira found to be a pathetic excuse for a mercantile square.

"Wow," she murmured to Bao-Dur, "this is… small."

The area consisted of two Rodian vendors directly across from each other, and Mira had the distinct impression that they were not happy with each other. And her impressions were rarely wrong.

"Um… are we sure that this is where we're supposed to be?" Mira asked.

Bao-Dur looked down at his datapad. "This is where the dock workers told us to go."

Mira frowned. "I am not getting good vibes between these two."

"And how bad are these… 'vibes' you're getting?"

"The feelings aren't the worst part of it. These two are armed."

"Oh. I see. And you think…"

Mira shrugged. "I don't want to assume anything, but I mean… I'd feel safer putting Atton and Mical in direct competition than these two. These two seem… kinda crazy."

Bao-Dur nodded. "I'll keep my guard up."

They walked into the square and approached one of the vendors. Mira noticed the few people who were loitering in the square hurry into the shadows.

_Not a good sign,_ she thought. As Bao-Dur began to negotiate with the first Rodian, Mira kept her eye on the second, who was clearly apprehensive.

Bao-Dur, meanwhile, was having a problem understanding the Rodian's dialectized Huttese, and negotiations were slowing.

"Bao, let me talk to him," she whispered. "I can understand him, I swear."

"One moment," Bao-Dur said to the Rodian. He turned to Mira. "Are you sure?"

"I lived on Nar Shaddaa. You pick up these things."

Bao-Dur nodded.

"Watch out, that guy's twitchy," Mira warned before turning to the Rodian. "All right, so… we need—"

Before she heard the other Rodian shoot, Mira felt Bao-Dur pull her to the ground. Almost instantly, they were scrambling to their feet and out of the way. Bao-Dur pulled out his lightsaber, deflecting blaster bolts harmlessly into the air as Mira regained her balance. Using the Force, she pushed the attacking Rodian down and pulled his weapon to her. With one Rodian down, the other drew his own weapon, which Mira also confiscated.

"Back it up," Mira called out as the Rodians began to move towards each other. To make her point clearer, she drew her own lightsaber. "_Now._"

The Rodians reluctantly moved away from each other.

"All right," Mira said, stepping out between the Rodians, Bao-Dur behind her and ready to strike, "we need to buy some things. Frankly, I don't care what your problems are with each other, and I don't have time for any of this. We're going to tell you what we need, and you're going to give it to us."

Nobody moved. Mira's eyes narrowed. "Are we clear?"

The Rodians nodded and stammered their agreement. Mira smiled.

* * *

"Are you _sure_ you don't remember?" Alainna said, leaning against the wall.

"For the third time," Visas said, "I am absolutely sure. I remember walking… somewhere on the ship, and then I remember waking up, and nothing else."

"Great," Alainna muttered. "Mical, how is everything else?"

"Your vitals are fine, Visas," Mical said. "You can leave whenever you feel ready."

Visas sighed. "I'm sorry that I could not be of use. Perhaps when I return to my meditation, I could—"

"I'd really rather not make you pass out again," Alainna said. "Please don't force anything. We're so close now that it won't matter anyway, soon."

Alainna left.

"She seems more brusque than usual," Visas noted.

"Yes," Mical said. "The stress of the journey, though I can't be sure what role her illness has in it…"

Visas let the subject go. The last thing she needed to do was to pry into Mical's insecurities. Talking to people had never been one of her stronger skills.

"If it's all right with you," Visas said, "I think I am ready to leave."

"Of course," Mical said. "If you feel like you're going to pass out again, feel free to do it in here."

"Thank you," she said, leaving. She walked towards the back of the ship. As she did, she heard Mira's and Bao-Dur's voices drifting closer.

"…look on Jugo's face when he thought you were mad at him for bringing the wrong hydrospanner," Bao-Dur was saying.

"Yeah, that was something. I'm surprised you haven't lectured me on using my influence responsibly or setting a good example as a Jedi or something."

"I'm waiting until your leg is fixed."

"Fair enough."

Visas watched as Bao-Dur walked up the ramp, Mira in arms, two fully-laden Rodians in tow, and one equally-laden Human trailing behind.

"Welcome back," Visas said.

"Hey, Visas," Mira said. "You feeling better?"

"Quite," Visas replied.

"That's good, I need the medbay. Someone back in town couldn't hold the massive hydrospanner that Bao-Dur seems to think we need."

"The accident did get us the services of these people, though," Bao-Dur said, nodding at the three behind them, who were in danger of dropping their heavy bags on the floor. One of the Rodians said something in his particular dialect of Huttese.

"Oh, right," Mira said. "Visas, if you could just show them where to drop those off…"

Visas nodded. She walked off, and the three followed her.

Bao-Dur carried Mira to the medbay.

"Hey, Mical," Mira said.

"Hello. How did you manage to get into a fight in the middle of nowhere?" Mical asked.

Mira laughed as Bao-Dur set her down. "Don't be ridiculous. The fight had nothing to do with my leg injury."

Mical raised an eyebrow.

"No, really," Mira said.

Mical looked up at Bao-Dur.

"She's right," Bao-Dur said.

"Way to not take my word for it," Mira said as Mical began to examine her leg.

"My apologies," Mical said.

Atton walked to the doorway of the medbay. "And you think _I'm_ the one who's going to get in trouble on shore leave," he said, shaking his head.

Mira sighed. "It was a hydrospanner accident."

"Right. Who swung first?"

"If you'd been here a minute earlier instead of in the cockpit arguing with the droids, maybe you would have heard that I did not, in fact, get in a fight, thank you."

Bao-Dur cleared his throat.

"Fine," Mira said, "but the fight had nothing to do with my leg injury. Nobody got hurt in the fight." She turned to Bao-Dur. "Does that _really_ count as a fight?"

"Hah," Atton scoffed as Alainna entered the scene. "You and your low-tempered ways."

Alainna sighed, surveying the room. "I don't think I want to know."

"Hydrospanner accident," Bao-Dur said.

"Right," Atton said, rolling his eyes.

Mical closed his eyes, and everyone watched as he put his hands gently on Mira's shin. She gasped slightly, and when Mical opened his eyes again, she stood.

"Excellent. Thanks, Mical," Mira said.

"Are we all ready?" Alainna said, rubbing her forehead.

"There might be some people unloading supplies back with Visas," Mira said.

"I'll check on them," Bao-Dur offered.

"I'll start the engines," Atton said, walking to the cockpit.

"All right," Alainna said as everyone went their separate ways.

She inhaled and exhaled deeply.

She had survived the Sith Empire once. She hoped that they would all be so lucky now.

It was time to leave home.

* * *

_A/N: I know, these last couple of chapters have been pretty short. But hey, now they're out there, so they should be getting 1. longer and 2. more interesting. (A third possibility, more frequent, has not been ruled out!) As usual, massive thanks to all of you who have stuck with me thus far!_

* * *


End file.
